I had dinner with a friend last week who I hadn’t seen in months (aside from Facebook). She said ‘Your career looks like it’s going great, I’m so happy for you!’ I said ‘Yeah, it really is, thanks!’ and then she told me, ‘You know, it’s almost annoying, you look so happy.’ with a sheepish grin.

She’s right. I’m pretty happy and I love the work I do. This didn’t happen overnight, I’ve been cultivating my happiness and success for a few years now. And I think it’s available to anyone, no matter what their career situation is. Here’s how:

Really Believe in what you’re doing. Whether corporate, table-serving, administrative, entrepreneurial, or non-profit  work, align your authentic self to its purpose. If this proves difficult, locate any aspect of your work which you can really get behind. I used to be a human resources generalist within a somewhat disgruntled customer service department. I had daily interactions with unhappy folks who didn’t really like what I had to offer. What finally made a difference for me was when I began to take notice of the impact I was having in one-on-one conversations with some of employees and managers. There were times when I could insert a bit of perspective, levity, hope even. Noticing this was the first step in a long trail toward how I interact with people in the work I now do, which is incredibly fulfilling. Today you may be writing the business plan for making your life’s vision come true, or working a temp job putting away $3 a week to pay for a course you know will change everything. Find that place of meaning and recommit yourself to it daily.

Know Fear. I believe there are two kinds. The adrenaline-pumping kind that moves our feet faster than we thought possible and saves lives. And the Holy sh*t kind that we feel when we’re about to take a swan dive off a cliff because we’re 80% sure we’re going to fly for the first time. So many people confuse the latter with the former and stop, turn around, avoid cliffs and people who believe in flying forevermore. Big mistake. You either can fly, or the bottom isn’t as far down as it looks and there’s a spring-landing that will have you taking leap after leap after leap – changing your life forever.

Bless the Haters! You start doing this and people will smell something new. This is good and bad. New people will come sniffing around who are genuinely excited, asking about flight and wanting to try it with you. Others will unwittingly try to sabotage your growing belief in yourself.  This hurts, especially when it’s those who are ‘supposed to’ support you (spouses, parents, siblings). Bless them.  They’re only uncomfortable. You’re changing and they don’t know how to be around you anymore. Getting mad about it hinders your progress more than it teaches them a lesson, so don’t waste any time with that way of thinking. No one who ever made any kind of difference in the world did so without a whole lotta fear and rejection. So keep jumping and when you encounter the haters say ‘Yes! One down, thousands to go… I’m on my way to something great!’

Find Your Tribe. Cultivating relationships with the new folks in your life is fun. It’s like dating… they turn you on and the feeling is mutual. Now you get to hang out, support one another, and embark on new ventures together. This isn’t limited to physical location by the way. Some of my favorite tribes are virtual and others have local components. A few favorites are Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts, Marie Forleo and Laura Roeder’s Rich, Happy, and Hot B-School, Team Northrup, Austin Biz + Balance for entrepreneur mama’s, the group I dance with three times a week. Several of these offer programs that will change your life (they have mine) and introduce you to even more people who love and support unconditionally – I recommend saving and investing your dollars in this. Lots of these folks have a great presence on Facebook, Twitter, and offer a lot of wonderful free videos too. So if you feel it’s taking a while to find your people, or for them to sniff you out, find the people you want to hang out with online and bask in their incredible virtual support.

I’d love to hear your annoyingly happy & successful tips! Will you please post a comment?

• Tags: change, friends, personal growth, school of womanly arts, team northrup, women's circles
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