As a mom, I sometimes catch myself repeating, drone-like, “How was your day? What did you learn? What did you get on that test?” And I notice that my kids, too, have learned to mimic my perfunctory tone and lack of conscious attention to these questions. I can do better. Doing better, though, sometimes means I mimic the tone and line of questioning I hear so frequently in our culture. It can sound like this: “You got a B? Well, how hard did you study? Have you finished your homework? Did you really put enough time into that project? It looks a little sloppy…” Then there’s the whole question of extra-curricular activities. Up until a few short years ago, we had a full schedule of after-school events taped to the refrigerator. That is, until my oldest cried uncle, and I actually listened. But I’m not through the woods yet. I worry, regularly, about his choices in elective courses, after-school sports, clubs & interests. Why?? I’m really not that wrapped up in where, or even if, he chooses to go to college. But my default setting, the one supported by our American way of life, is to worry and compare, worry and compare. It’s a relentless source of stress for me, for parents, for families, and most alarming, for our children. The documentary ‘The Race to Nowhere: The Dark Side of America’s Achievement Culture’ deals with the specific causes and often horrifying effects of this pervasive focus on doing more than enough. Some of us do it consciously – believing that what has driven us to success is just the ticket for our kids as well. Some of us do it unconsciously. It’s worth taking a look at. Making choices about. Getting conscious within our families and schools. Talking about within our communities. Engaging our educators & legislators in the discussion.
I’ll be facilitating one such discussion at St. Francis School in Austin Texas on Tuesday April 19. Click here for details and tickets. If this time and location does not work for you, please see the Race to Nowhere website for screenings around the country. And please spread the word.
