The thought of a cross-country road trip (with me as the only driver) was edged in fear…. I pictured myself out of some bad made-for-tv movie… a homeless mom in an ancient rusted station wagon, circa 1972…. pulling into dangerous bars late at night, sleeping on the side of the road… making risky decisions to earn a couple bucks to feed my children. I have NO idea where my creative mind came up with these images, but there they were. So I told Joe that maybe the kids and I should drive from Texas to Maine and meet him there this summer. After all, I am my own boss for precisely these kinds of opportunities and freedom. He offered a lot of good reasons not to do it, and I came close to agreeing with him. But then I realized I LIKE to confront my fears. Maybe not in every moment… but always in retrospect. This proposed adventure became something I was really looking forward to. Max would be my co-pilot, as he’s old enough to sit shotgun and learning how to navigate seemed timely. Ella and Quincy (our Welsh corgi) would keep each other company in the back seat. We would listen to books on tape, camp and visit friends along the way. I got lots of reactions from other parents. A couple of them also had trips planned and we enjoyed sharing notes. Others looked horrified and insisted I buy a portable DVD player to occupy the kids en route. I’m here to report the trip was a wonderful success! No DVDs were needed. No speeding tickets. No fender benders. A couple yucky KOA camping experiences (Memphis in August… what was I thinking???). Very little complaining from the kiddos (or the dog). Lots of history learned. Geography too. And then there were the Love Note Bandits….. for fun, we kept a list of fun little love notes we’d like to leave for people to find as we stopped in gas stations and rest stops along the way. We wrote things like ‘YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL’ and ‘MAKE TODAY THE BEST EVER’ and ‘THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING’ on little green stickies and left them for unsuspecting strangers to find, sneaking away undetected and imagining their reactions and envisioning the waves of love emanating out from each little droplet we shared.
Big gifts were received from this act of stepping in the direction of something that made my stomach flutter with queasy, fearful anticipation. THANK YOU to all my beautiful friends & family who sped us on our way, sending love & light for the journey… it is real, we felt it! And I’m looking forward to the next opportunity to step into the unknown. What will it be, I wonder? How about you?
I (and the Love Note Bandits) did it!
Whoops, there I go again.
Lately I notice people apologizing for all kinds of things that really aren't necessary, and it bugs me because I do the same thing. Why do we feel the need to apologize all the time? Some things do warrant heartfelt apologies like... the social blunder at your office party, accidentally mowing your neighbor's fresh daffodil crop, or knocking down that kid in the elementary school hallway because your kid was late for his piano lesson. Read More
UnDecking the Halls
I realize this is a total cliché, however, 2009 has moved about as quickly as any year I can remember! In January we sold the house we’d owned for 7+ years. In February we moved into another one. In March I began a program in New York that had me traveling for four months (in other words, we shared our bedroom with a half-packed suitcase at all times). Summer came and went, school started, Halloween passed, and now we’re in the midst of the holidays! My house is a mess. Well, it was a mess. All that is changing. I have regularly suffered fits of despair when the accumulation of physical ... Read More
Get Smart
This week the Head of our children’s school held meetings with small groups of parents, and it was eye-opening for me. First of all, I left in tears of gratitude for this woman and the school she founded back when I was just graduating high school! I already was in love with the diverse array of creative and gentle kids who attend the school, and the teachers who love teaching in this environment and remain to do so. But I’m not actually writing to sing the praises of the school (as thrilled as I am). I’m writing to share the idea of multiple intelligences, which I learned more about and ... Read More
What’s your pleasure?
A week or so ago, a friend asked what to do in the face of adverse circumstances, how she might feel happy? I answered that I always look for blue first, and failing that, green. A teacher I know suggests that our personal power lies in connection with our own bodies. As in, choose a part, right now, and feel it. Or let the part choose you. Where is the pleasure in your body in this moment? I sometimes notice that I haven’t allowed a sensation for years, for no good reason. So it is indulgent and wonderful. Having children ... Read More
