The thought of a cross-country road trip (with me as the only driver) was edged in fear…. I pictured myself out of some bad made-for-tv movie… a homeless mom in an ancient rusted station wagon, circa 1972…. pulling into dangerous bars late at night, sleeping on the side of the road… making risky decisions to earn a couple bucks to feed my children. I have NO idea where my creative mind came up with these images, but there they were. So I told Joe that maybe the kids and I should drive from Texas to Maine and meet him there this summer. After all, I am my own boss for precisely these kinds of opportunities and freedom.  He offered a lot of good reasons not to do it, and I came close to agreeing with him. But then I realized I LIKE to confront my fears. Maybe not in every moment… but always in retrospect. This proposed adventure became something I was really looking forward to. Max would be my co-pilot, as he’s old enough to sit shotgun and learning how to navigate seemed timely. Ella and Quincy (our Welsh corgi) would keep each other company in the back seat. We would listen to books on tape, camp and visit friends along the way. I got lots of reactions from other parents. A couple of them also had trips planned and we enjoyed sharing notes. Others looked horrified and insisted I buy a portable DVD player to occupy the kids en route. I’m here to report the trip was a wonderful success! No DVDs were needed. No speeding tickets. No fender benders. A couple yucky KOA camping experiences (Memphis in August… what was I thinking???). Very little complaining from the kiddos (or the dog). Lots of history learned. Geography too. And then there were the Love Note Bandits….. for fun, we kept a list of fun little love notes we’d like to leave for people to find as we stopped in gas stations and rest stops along the way. We wrote things like ‘YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL’ and ‘MAKE TODAY THE BEST EVER’ and ‘THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING’ on little green stickies and left them for unsuspecting strangers to find, sneaking away undetected and imagining their reactions and envisioning the waves of love emanating out from each little droplet we shared.
Big gifts were received from this act of stepping in the direction of something that made my stomach flutter with queasy, fearful anticipation. THANK YOU to all my beautiful friends & family who sped us on our way, sending love & light for the journey… it is real, we felt it! And I’m looking forward to the next opportunity to step into the unknown. What will it be, I wonder? How about you?

• Tags: children, Family, fear, fun, Maine
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