Are you thirsty for a double espresso? Need the new Marc Jacobs bag? Gotta check out the Nordstrom once-in-a-lifetime sale event? Settling in for a Kardashians marathon? Streaming back episodes of The Tudors? Jonesing to check your email? Facebook? Re-tweets? Blog hits? How about a burger and a Coke?
Let me ask – how much pleasure are you getting from these things? How satisfying was that three-hour computer stint? What’s beneath the burger, the handbag, the coffee hit? Are you willing to stop, sit down, breathe deep and ask yourself this question: ‘What am I really yearning for?’
Maybe you’ve been distracting yourself because the answer is so painful. You might feel trapped in a situation that doesn’t allow for a career change. Your family’s blueprint for you may not include a satisfying partnership. The people in your life would be unsupportive of you trying on a healthier lifestyle. You may have been so self-critical for so long that the sound of your inner wisdom is such dissonant noise – you’re not sure you can stand it.
Do it anyway. Stop. Sit down. Breathe deeply. Ask the question.
It’s ok to wait about taking action. You are not a failure for taking your time with change and there’s no need for extreme idealism here. However, the true, soul-satisfying deep breath of Life comes from continually making space for the question to be asked. Keeping your eyes open for signs. Taking on new ways to practice feeling the way you desire to feel. Noticing the surface yearning and knowing there’s more beneath it: The Question, which is your fuel for greatness. Moving forward, one step at a time, loving and approving of yourself along the way, leads to a Life well-lived.
So tell me, what are you really yearning for?
It’s an interesting question, and I have found myself in years past numbing myself with shopping…spending money. Perhaps that was it, I was yearning for something and escaping through external distraction.
I still have a tendency towards this now and again, but as I grown and come through a tremendous self-awareness journey, I am much more in-tune with these signs and try to avoid them if I am doing them mindlessly. Sometimes though, I think we need to give ourselves permission to “get lost” and release – but with intention and focus!
Thanks for a great post that made me ponder a bit more and nod my head at the same time!
xo, Tina
Such an important question.
What do you really want? What are you really yearning for?
I used to shop to fill a void.
Then I stopped shopping but just stayed super busy. Same void.
It took really getting comfortable being uncomfortable for me to find the answer to that question. I had to slow down enough to notice what was really going on before I could find the solutions.
Thanks for sharing.
So well written.
Maddy, this weekend I participated in a virtual retreat which included meditation, yoga, vision boarding, etc.
It’s been a long time since I’ve sat still and focused on me for any length of time. I was amazed by how twitchy it made me to sit still, to not be occupied with something, to not be distracted.
I feel like stillness and being alone with myself are a muscles that I’ve ignored and now I need some practice before I can even start to answer that bigger question.
OOf! This one can be a tough one for me! I know that painting fills that void for me and all is well when I’m in the process of doing it. But as a business I find I pressure myself with it a bit too much. Put too much weight on it and my ‘self’ gets lost in the process. Way too critical!! Need to take the time out to listen, but when I sit still I feel like I should be painting! It’s crazy. Must remember to calm my mind and let space in too.
Thanks for this!
I used to yearn for family (have one) and the love of my life (got it). Now I believe I yearn for what excites me, outside of relationship and family. The question, now, is, “What excites me?”
That’s a great question Fawn! I catch myself when I start getting into certain patterns,
They are like my “distractors” and I know I am doing them because there is something I don’t want to deal with and feel.
As you say, I give myself some space just to feel what I am feeling, and eventually I get to what’s really going and the deeper feelings. And sometimes it is a deeper yearning for connection or creativity. Great advice!
Great question Maddy!
I am yearning to live my passion. Which is to help people heal and be healthy. I was in a severe auto accident in 2009 and I decided that something positive had to come from it. Since then I have been on a healing journey and have made many positive changes in my life. My accident forced me to slow down and breathe and heal. I’m still on my healing journey, but I am ready to take others with me.
Ahhh…such a timely question for me. I have found myself slipping back into bad habits that are reactions to other things that are going on. Instead of asking the question about why the habits have shown up again, I started creating a bunch of new rules and routines…just perpetuating the circle. Once I stopped the cycle and asked the right questions, it was like magic. Interesting how such a simple act with honest answers can make all the difference.